Insides and Outsides
by Silvandar
Summary: Renji and Ichigo try to out troll each other... *short one shot* CRACK YAOI


"How much longer?"

"A... a bit longer. I can keep going..."

The sound of metal on metal echoed through the rocky terrain, accompanied by the intermittent explosions and small avalanches as some of the larger boulders got in the way of _getsuga tenshou_. A particularly violent explosion, and the panted question again.

"How much bloody longer?"

Ichigo dropped onto his knees, the point of Zangetsu driven into the ground. He was panting harder than his training partner, and sweat was pouring from him. He stared at the redhead sitting opposite him, wondering again how Renji always managed to look so cool when he was exhausted. Ichigo just looked messy and out of shape. He _felt_ messy and out of shape when compared to the taller man. He hated to admit it, but he was jealous of Renji, of his effortless ability and his constant attitude of "smug".

Renji, for his part, studied the younger man through half lidded eyes. Urahara had given him the task of training with Ichigo, but he had utterly failed to prepare him for how _tough_ the blonde was. It was taking everything Renji had to remain calm and collected - every night he crawled into bed feeling like he was a thousand years old, and groaned when the sunlight told him a new training day had begun. Of course, there was no way he was letting Ichigo know that...

Ichigo pushed himself to his feet reluctantly. scowling as Renji sprang lightly from the ground. "Want to go again?" the tattooed man asked, giving him a brilliant white grin.

"Teme... no, I don't! I want a bath and some food" Ichigo replied sourly, and began the long stalk to the passage up to the real world. The training area was altogether too big at this end of the session.

Renji bit back the sigh of relief and followed Ichigo, using the very last dregs of his stubbornness to allow him to walk lightly and slightly ahead of the shorter man. He focused his thoughts on "hot bath", knowing perfectly well that Rukia would corner Ichigo as soon as he appeared and grill him on his progress, thus allowing Renji to get into the bathroom first.

...

The steam in the large wetroom that served the Urahara Shop was so thick Renji could barely see the bath. He found it by memory more than anything and flicked his towel onto the rail before stepping down into the hot, lightly scented water. He groaned in pleasure as he sank into the water up to his neck. He had just about managed to wash his hair beforehand, and it hung in a long red wave down over his chest, hiding the stark black tattoos. He leaned back and groaned again, feeling the heat entering his muscles and allowing his body to relax...

"You better not be doing anything personal over there. You're making a hell of a lot of noise" the grumpy voice floated over from the other side of the bath, and Renji went ridged.

"How the hell... I saw Rukia naggin... talking to you! How did you get here first?"

Ichigo half floated, half swam over to Renji's side of the large bath and leaned back on the side next to him. "Kon is a sneaky guy if you bribe him with sweets. Turns out, Rukia accepted his story that I had jumped back into my body straight away, and has been happily talking his ear off for an hour."

Renji looked sideways at Ichigo, a half smile on his face. "She'll kill you when she finds out. And you know Kon is useless, so she WILL find out..."

"It's worth it" Ichigo said, sinking down so the water was just below his eyes. He stretched his long limbs out and gave Renji a 'look'. Surfacing, he said "so what's with the moaning and groaning anyway? Or do you just really get off on baths with other guys?"

Renji contemplated drowning him, and realised he couldn't be bothered to move. "Baka... its just good to relax in a hot bath after a day of kicking your skinny ass around the place. Obviously I didn't know you were in here."

Ichigo nodded and felt the tiredness lift slightly as he spotted a new way to wind Renji up. He wasn't naturally mischievous, but sometimes ideas did occur to him, and this one was a blinder. Waiting for the right moment, he grinned as Renji leaned his head right back against the tiled side of the bath and pushed himself away from the wall.

Renji grunted as Ichigo's body connected with him, and his hands slapped against the wall either side of Renji's chest. Staring at him in irritation and a little touch of nervousness, he realised the blonde was pressed right against his naked body. _Oh shit, oh shit, I know the water is warm and its been ages since anyone touched you naked, but do not, I repeat do NOT get a hard on..._

"What are you doing, baka?" he snarled, eyeing Ichigo angrily. Ichigo grinned a snake-like grin at him and pressed against him firmly.

"I reckon you just wanted an excuse to see me naked. That's why you snuck in here even though the sign said 'busy'..."

Renji panicked. He hadn't even noticed the little sign on the door, being so used to getting in there first. If Ichigo was right... _bluff, you stupid redhead, bluff!_

"Bullshit. The sign was 'free', not 'busy'. Like I want to go anywhere near you naked! Now get off before I hand you your own ass..." _oh SHIT, bad choice of words!_

Ichigo grinned even wider and leaned in close to Renji's face. He was good at playing gay chicken, he had played it enough with Keigo in the locker rooms at school, always a great way to freak people out, and Keigo usually lost which meant he paid for the after school ice cream. Now Ichigo bent his elbows so his arms were resting on Renji's shoulders and purred "you want to do _what_ to my ass? Renji-_kun_...?"

Renji twitched at the tone and banged his head against the tiles of the bath. "Get the hell off me! What are you, nuts?" he growled... or at least, he meant it to come out as a manly growl. He realised in horror that it escaped his lips more like a whimpered plea, and Ichigo grinned savagely at the pathetic sound.

"Renji-kun, you took so much trouble to get in here with me, now you are being mean?"

"Stop it! That voice is freaky! Get _off_ me, baka!"

Ichigo laughed and grabbed Renji's wrists as he went to shove him away, and felt his knees slip backwards at the motion. _Shit..._ He was expecting a crack of skulls meeting as his center of balance pitched him onto Renji's chest, and he closed his eyes against the expected impact...

Renji made a tiny squeak as Ichigo lunged forwards, closing his eyes as he did so. He cracked the back of his head against the tiles again as he tried to flinch backwards, and then it was too late, and Ichigo's lips were pressed against his, hard.

_Oh fuck, oh God, Renji is going to kill me... oh FUCK now what is this? I can't be getting off on this...!_

_Oh shit, what the fuck is Ichigo doing? He CAN'T know I fancy him..._

Ichigo made to push himself away from Renji, preparing to laugh or hit him, whichever seemed appropriate, and desperate to move before Renji noticed any extra pressure on his leg... He twisted his grip on Renji's wrists, and nearly died of shock as the redhead's lips moved against his. _What the fuck... ohmygod Renji is KISSING me..._

Renji felt Ichigo shift his grip on his wrists, pinning his hands to the tiles, and gave up. He wasn't going to back off if Ichigo actually was interested, and it had been ages since he had last been able to spend time with his usual lover, Shuuhei. He gave in to the kiss and returned it, smiling slightly as Ichigo flinched in surprise. He obviously hadn't thought any further ahead than this.

_Now what the fuck do I... wait, this is... hang on... I... I... I don't... I... ohhh shit, he is good at this..._

Ichigo braced himself with his knees either side of Renji's thighs, and prepared for disengagement. This felt... too good. The lips firmly stroking his own were soft and warm, and the breath sliding between them tasted slightly sweet and was making shivers run up and down his spine. He realised that he was kissing Renji fairly enthusiastically and that an immediate scream of disgust or shame was now out of the question if he didn't want to look like a child. _Shit... how do I do this?_

Renji felt Ichigo regain his balance sitting astride him, and wondered how far the blonde was planning on taking things. Ever the opportunist, Renji still couldn't imagine Ichigo putting out straight away. Chances were good in fact that he would eventually bottle out of this and run away, and deny it ever happened. _Well then, lets have some fun whilst we can, give him something to deny..._

Ichigo gave a squeak as Renji pushed him backwards, reversing their positions against the opposite wall. The redhead's strength was no joke, he had the element of surprise, and Ichigo had his back to the tiles before he knew what was going on. He opened his eyes and found himself staring straight into dark eyes, framed by a fall of soft, damp red hair. Renji gave him a few seconds to look shocked and then captured his lips again, easing his knee between pale thighs and up to Ichigo's groin. _Interesting... he is enjoying this, for sure... lets see if I can get him riled up_

_Now what... bastard got me pinned. Wait, what.. oh my god... oh... no..._

Ichigo squirmed at the pressure on his groin, and instantly realised the mistake... adding friction to pressure was a very bad idea! He whimpered slightly as the movement just made him harder against the intruding limb. Renji pressed in again, and Ichigo squirmed again as he felt a long, warm tongue sliding between his lips. Within minutes he was panting, and rubbing his groin against the thick muscle of Renji's thigh. He was still seeking a way out of this situation, but he was also seriously enjoying the experience. Ichigo had really limited hands on knowledge of this stuff, and Renji... well, he was no blushing virgin, that was damn sure.

Curious to know if he was producing an effect on the redhead, and not really thinking logically about what he was doing, Ichigo slipped his hand down from Renji's shoulders, over the heavy pectoral muscles and the solid abs until his fingers reached soft curls. He froze as he felt hard flesh and heard Renji hiss and bite his lower lip gently. _What the FUCK did I just do that for? Holy shit, I think he is bigger than me... hey, he is really enjoying this... he just moaned..._

_He... he seriously is... oh God he is... aahh! Cold hands...!_

Renji groaned as Ichigo's fingers explored his body, wrapping around his erection and stroking it firmly, his other hand trailing below the water and grabbing onto Renji's ass, pulling his body closer. Ichigo was murmuring against his lips, his huge brown eyes half lidded with lust. Renji pulled away from his kiss and ran his tongue down his jaw, teasing the sensitive spot behind his earlobe and getting a soft moan, then dropping his lips to the blonde's throat. He began nipping and kissing the flesh, feeling the tense body beneath him twitching with each bite and hearing each little hitch in Ichigo's breathing.

_Oh God, this feels so amazing... I can't... I don't want... I can't stop him. I can't turn this off..._

"Renji..." he gasped, sinking his fingernails into a muscular buttock and squeezing the redhead's arousal gently. Renji moaned against Ichigo's neck, moving his hands abruptly to pull Ichigo's legs free and wrapping them round his waist. The blonde moved with him, his own erection pressed against Renji's abs. He tightened his legs, crossing his feet over and pulling Renji against him. The feel of Renji's erection slipping between his buttocks made him panic for a second, until Renji moved backwards in the warm water, leaning against the wall and pulling Ichigo on top of him, and he felt like he had more control over the situation.

_I want this guy so badly right now... he won't, not this time. Not ever, I guess. But my GOD I want to screw him!_

"Ichi..." the redhead was almost afraid to speak his name, lest he break the spell. Ichigo opened his eyes and looked down at him, his fingers wandering over his shoulders and chest as Renji drew back slightly. He tried to organise his thoughts, and settled for reaching up into thick blonde hair and tugging his head down for another kiss. Ichigo didn't even try to resist this time, kissing him back happily and sliding his tongue between slightly parted lips.

Renji moaned into the kiss as a long fingered hand snaked between strong thighs and found his erection again, more business-like this time, and much more confident. He felt Ichigo smile against his lips as his hips thrust to meet the strokes on his aching cock.

_He likes that... he really likes that... I wonder if... yeah, I bet I can make him... hmmmm... ohfuckwhatthehe... ohhhh..._

Renji grinned as Ichigo pulled away from him, eyes closed and mouth slightly open, gasping at the sensations. The new angle he had presented as he started stroking Renji was irresistible, and the redhead's willpower was at a low ebb anyway... He had traced the small pucker, wishing for lube, and gently, slowly, eased a finger in to the knuckle. Ichigo's reaction was typical of a man being fingered for the first time - disgust and shock quickly fading to pleasure and lust for more.

_This game is getting old_ Renji thought, _there's only so much fun to be had in a bathroom. The question is, can I get him to my room without anyone catching us, or him bolting... One more thing needed, and he should be begging for it..._

Renji slid his finger out and gripped Ichigo's thighs firmly, standing up from the warm water and lifting him easily. Ichigo still had his legs wrapped around the redhead's slender hips, and now he locked his arms round his neck and nuzzled his jaw. It occurred to Renji that the blonde was avoiding eye contact with him, and he smiled slightly, kissing his face softly as he pushed him back against the wall of the bathroom. The tiles were cold, and Ichigo gasped as his back contacted with them and opened lustful brown eyes. Renji kissed him softly, taking a mental deep breath. He hadn't done this for bloody ages, and his muscles were exhausted already... he knew it would be easier to let Ichigo stand on the floor, but it would be much less flashy...

He gripped Ichigo's calves, unlocking his legs from his waist and bending, pushing the younger man upwards against the wall. He stopped once he could ease the blonde's knees over his shoulder and pressed his own torso against the cold tiles, creating a shelf with his body. Ichigo had whimpered as he had moved him, and now he moaned almost too loudly as Renji wrapped wet lips around his erection, thrusting his cock into his mouth eagerly as the redhead held his weight up with his arms, chest and shoulders.

_This is... oh my God... he's... I'm... oh GOD..._

Ichigo moaned helplessly as Renji pleasured him, sinking his fingers into glorious red locks. The weightless sensation from the position just made everything feel so much better, the sensations deeper and more powerful. He felt the head of his cock rubbing against the roof of Renji's mouth, felt his tongue stroking the shaft and flicking over and just inside the cleft at the head. He could feel the orgasm building ridiculously fast, and he realised that he was going to cum in the redhead's mouth, whether he wanted to or not. He groaned, his teeth clicking as his head smacked against the tiles and his moans echoing through the room as he started to cum.

Renji grinned around his throbbing erection as Ichigo lost control and began moaning loudly. The blonde had a beautiful voice, and hearing him vocalising his pleasure was so very sexy. The redhead sank his fingers deep into Ichigo's thighs as he tasted hot liquid, swallowing quickly and enjoying the taste of his victory. He lowered Ichigo back to floor once his moans had faded and he had relaxed the grip of his thighs around Renji's ears.

_God my arms hurt... but that was worth it. He is fantastic when he does that... Just as good as I thought he would be... now...is he going to want to keep playing? Or is he going to be a selfish bastard..._

Ichigo pulled Renji into a kiss, slipping shivering arms around his neck. The temperature in the bathroom had finally started to drop. The air was cool on their flushed skin, and Renji grabbed the nearest towel, wrapping Ichigo carefully as he kissed him.

"Ichi..." he whispered against the blonde's jaw, and Ichigo pulled back, staring at him curiously. "Want to continue this conversation in my room?" _Oh please PLEASE, Kami Sama, please let him say yes..._

_What... oh, he wants to... oh shit... what do I do? Do I want to? God, I think I really do..._

"Mmm" Ichigo replied, licking Renji's lips and stepping away from him. His legs were still shaking from his experience against the wall, but somehow he had the strength to swagger over to the spare towel and throw it at the redhead. "Come on then. I still want to eat tonight."

_Stunning. Just stunning. Even after this, he can still be a cock..._

Renji peeked out of the door, looking everywhere for people. He could smell food from downstairs, and realised that there wasn't a lot of time left before someone came looking for them. He turned and found Ichigo behind him, pushing him against the wall. "Looks like we won't have time" he said, disappointment in his voice. They kissed roughly, and then Ichigo slipped out the door, heading towards the changing room. Renji growled in irritation and then saw Jinta coming up the stairs, his usual pissy expression hardening as he saw the tall redhead standing in the corridor wearing just a towel...

...

Renji lay with his arm over his eyes. The meal had been weird, Ichigo and him sitting opposite each other and both of them acting like nothing had happened. He had caught large brown eyes on him a few times, but of course, nothing could be said. Rukia had stolen Ichigo for a Hollow patrol afterwards, and Renji had turned in for an early night.

He froze as the bedroom door slid aside, then was shut with a click. Lying in the dark, Renji was aware that his heart was hammering in his chest and his mouth was dry. _Surely he... he wouldn't..._

A rustle of fabrics, and then cold flesh against his own as a long, lean figure slid under his blanket and wrapped around him. Familiar lips tasted his, and he shivered

"You are bloody freezing. What have you been doing?"

"Shut up - I forgot to stick Kon in my body so it got left in my bedroom with only a robe on. You better be planning on warming me up..."

"Screw you, I did my bit earlier. You want warming up, you better make yourself busy..."

Ichigo chuckled and pulled the blanket up over his shoulder, straddling Renji easily. His grin was visible in the moonlight as he balanced something on Renji's forehead.

"Brought you a present. Don't ask me how I managed to sneak that past Rukia."

Renji grabbed the object and recognised the kanji on the small plastic bottle, and a grin spread over his own face. Sitting bolt upright he wrapped his arms around the blonde's waist and turned him, pulling him down onto his back.

"I think you will find that is a present for _you_, blondie" he said, nipping Ichigo's shoulder and getting a whimper in return... And as he lost himself in rapidly warming kisses and occasional filthy language from his new, enthusiastic lover, he realised that things were much fun when feelings on the inside matched actions on the outside.


End file.
